“If your brother sins go and tell him his faults”
Jesus tells us in the Gospel reading what we should do if someone is sinning against us. When someone is sinning we should not look at him or her as a useless or pathetic person, but as a lost sheep. Right before Jesus speaks of a brother who sins against us, He spoke of the parable of the lost sheep (Matthew 18:10-14). “This passage shows one of the ways in which the members of the Church must seek out the sheep that has wandered.” [1] We look not to confront a person in a manner to hurt them, but to win them back for Christ. Jesus speaks of gaining back. This means we too lost something, not just them. We should always ask our self what are motive is. Is our motive only to tell a person their faults or do we really want them to come back to truth, do we really want to be in union with that person?
Why should we confront someone of his or her sin? Speaking to someone who is in the wrong is never fun. Many times confronting someone who is sinning can bring a host of negative attacks back at the person doing the confronting. The person who is sinning can feel hatred, sadness, anger, repulsion, attacked and/or a host of other feelings. Regardless of how the person feels they are sinning and sin “is failure in genuine love for God and neighbor caused by a perverse attachment to certain goods.” [2] Many times people do not even know they are in sin until someone tells them. In either case, if we truly love them we want to tell them because we want to save them from the sin and ultimately save their souls.
In the beatitudes Jesus says, “blessed are the merciful.” We are called therefore to be merciful and the Church in her wisdom has outlined for us fourteen works of mercy, seven spiritual and seven physical. One of the spiritual works of mercy is to “admonish the sinner.” This is not only a good thing to do, but a duty as a Christian. “The mercy which God commands us to show to our fellow-creatures, does not consist only in corporal and spiritual almsdeeds to the poor and the suffering; it includes, moreover, the pardon and forgetfulness of injuries. This is the test whereby God proves the sincerity of our conversion. With the same measure that you shall mete withal, it shall be measured to you again. (Luke 6:38). If we, from our hearts pardon our enemies, our heavenly Father will unreservedly pardon us. These are the days when we are hoping to be reconciled with our God; let us do all we can to gain our brother; and for this end, pardon him, if needs be, seventy times seven times. Surely, we are not going to allow the miserable quarrels of our earthly pilgrimage to make us lose heaven! Therefore, let us forgive insults and injuries, and thus imitate our God Himself, who is ever forgiving us.” [3]
Why should we correct others who haven’t sinned against us personally? While the text does say “against you” it does not mean a personal attack. The brother whom Christ speaks of is all of our Christian brethren. We are all one body and so if one part of the body is hurt then pain can be felt elsewhere and the damage can also carry to other parts of the body. If someone stubs their toe the pain courses through their body and makes them have to walk awkwardly for a while until it heals. There are many card games, some in which you keep the jokers in the deck, some in which you take them out. If the game called for jokers to be taken out, but you accidently left the jokers in, the jokers would affect not only the whole game but the whole deck and the game would have to begin again. Each card matters and if any of the cards are taken out, just as sin “takes us out” the whole deck is affected. We must watch after our soul, the soul of others and the soul of the whole Body. “Thus, the duty of correction is therefore not limited to offenses that are personal.” [4] Another reason for correcting someone who is sinning is because “Sins give rise to social situations and institutions that are contrary to the divine goodness. ‘Structures of sin’ are the expression and effect of personal sins. They lead their victims to do evil in their turn. In an analogous sense, they constitute a ‘social sin.’ [5]” [6] What are some modern day “social sins” and “structures of sin” that look to destroy God?
What if the person isn’t hurting me personally or anyone else? Sin hurts the person as well as others. “It wounds the nature of man and injures human solidarity.” [7] At the very least it hurts the person and offends God. Sin is a personal act, and we cooperate in them “by participating directly and voluntarily in them; by ordering, advising, praising, or approving them; by not disclosing or not hindering them when we have an obligation to do so; by protecting evil-doers.” [8] The third really pertains to us and to the Gospel reading when we have an obligation to do something when we see another sinning.
There are nine ways of being accessory to another’s sin. Give a brief definition of the nine and some examples? By counsel. By command. By consent. By provocation/ By praise or flattery. By concealment. By partaking. By silence. By defense of the ill done. [9]
Why should I go in private to speak to a person who has sinned? Speaking to the person in private helps alleviate embarrassment. If someone had their zipper down on their pants, they would not have the one person notice shout, “Hey! Your fly is down!” The person who is sinning may not even know they are sinning. They may be oblivious to it as a person is when they accidentally leave their zipper undone. They are much more thankful that someone came to them privately and told them so they can correct it.
Why should I bring multiple people the second time? In today’s standards this is looked at as an “intervention”. Sometimes a person who is in the wrong cannot be swayed by just one voice. However, bringing two or three more people who have been affected by their sin can bring a little bit more validity to the person who is trying to bring back the lost soul. “But should he be [resistant], a few witnesses are to be summoned for another reproval. In the law of Dt. 19:15 the evidence of a single witness is not enough for a conviction; the principle is applied here somewhat loosely. The witnesses are to add weight to the reproval, which they can only do by sharing it.” [10]
Why do we need to bring the matter to the Church? "Be subject to the bishop and to one another, as Jesus Christ was subject to the Father, and the Apostles were subject to Christ and to the Father; so that there may be unity in both body and spirit" [11] It makes sense how we would correct another person alone in person and then if that did not work bring others to intervene, but we can also bring the matter to the Church, which would mean that we literally bring our friend to seek the assistance of a priest, deacon or someone who is appointed by the Church to help. Another way to look at it is to bring the Church to the matter. If the person is not willing to come to the Church, then we bring the Church to them. In truth and charity we can share with the person what the Church says about the matter. Truth and charity are essential. No matter how hard a heart may seem it is charity that will slowly make an opening. “First let a little love find entrance into their hearts, and the rest will follow.” [12] The Church does not error in regards to faith and morals and so the Church’s voice is the standard in which the matter at hand is judged. It is important that we get our facts straight and are not ignorant. If we have to bring the Church to the person because we are unable to bring the person to the Church we need to be correct in what we say or we could cause more harm and even scandal to the Church. It would be good to use a valid source like the text of the Catechism of the Catholic Church or perhaps the advice of the Saints, Holy Father or Bishops in regard to the matter.
How do we go about correcting someone in sin? First and foremost, we must pray that God will give us the wisdom and virtue to say what needs to be said. Second, we must do everything in charity because it “binds everything together in perfect harmony” (Col 3:14). We must help them seek forgiveness and reconciliation with the Church through the Sacraments. What a blessing we have a pattern to follow, that Our Lord Himself gave us. We always need to keep the steps in mind:
1. Go to the person individually, one on one.
2. Take a second or more people if needed.
3. Take the person to the Church and if that is not possible take the Church to the person.
What about the fourth step, treating the person like a gentile or tax collector? When a baptized person stays in habitual sin, despite the fact that an individual has corrected them, a group has corrected them and the Church has corrected them, the person has separated themselves from the Body of Christ the Church. It is for this reason that they are compared to a gentile or tax collector. The gentile and tax collectors were separated from the community. When we refuse to be reconciled with others and with the Church, we separate ourselves. This however does not have to be the end.
How did Jesus treat the tax collectors and gentiles? Jesus sought reconciliation with the tax collector and gentile. Zacchaeus and Saint Matthew are two tax collectors, both of whom desire to be reconciled. Zacchaeus moved through the crowd and climbed a tree just to get a glimpse of Jesus and then Jesus dined at his house. Jesus also went to His house of Saint Matthew to eat with him and personally called him out of sin and to a life of grace. Jesus never gave up on the gentile or the tax collector and He never gives up on the sinner. He states the sin very clearly and He always calls the sinner out of the sin into a life of repentance. We too must call sin a sin, but must never give up hope regarding conversion; we can never stop personally calling the sinner to repentance to a life of holiness. We too must remember that we are always in need of conversion and must keep a penitent heart.
We are all like St. Matthew, holding on to our sin, our life, our will. Fr. Jim Grummer gives a very short explanation of this masterpiece by Caravaggio. Jesus’s finger, which points at St. Matthew and at us looks very much like the finger of God reaching out to Adam, the creature God just created. Christ finger pointing at us is an acknowledgment of our sin, but also the chance to be reconciled, to follow Him, and thus be a new creation. Zacchaeus and Saint Matthew both were not worthy that Jesus would come under their roof, but yet Jesus did enter under their roof because of His great mercy and their penitent hearts. At the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass we come with penitent hearts and declare to our Lord, “Lord, I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof, but only say the word and my soul shall be healed.” [13] Jesus not only dines with us, but feeds us with His very Body and Blood.
“The Calling of St. Matthew” by Caravaggio is one of Pope Francis’s favorite paintings. He recently commented on the painting. ““That finger of Jesus, pointing at Matthew. That’s me. I feel like him. Like Matthew.” Here the pope becomes determined, as if he had finally found the image he was looking for: “It is the gesture of Matthew that strikes me: he holds on to his money as if to say, ‘No, not me! No, this money is mine.’ Here, this is me, a sinner on whom the Lord has turned his gaze.” [14]
[1] Jerome Biblical Commentary Matthew 43:128
[2] CCC 1849
[3] Abbot Gueranger, O.S.B.; The Liturgical Year, Vol. 5, pg.274-75
[4] Jerome Biblical Commentary Matthew 43:128
[5] John Paul II, RP 16
[6] CCC1869
[7] CCC 1849
[8] CCC 1868
[9] Roman Catholic Daily Missal [1962] page 27
[10] Jerome Biblical Commentary Matthew 43:128
[11] St. Ignatius of Antioch, Letter to the Magnesians, A.D.110, [13,1]
[12] Saint Philip Neri; Paul Thigpen; A Dictionary of Quotes from the Saints
[13] The Order of the Mass; The Communion Rite
[14] Antonio Spadaro, S.J.; A Big Heart Open to God