What does “Detraction” mean? Detraction is “Revealing something about another that is true but harmful to that person’s reputation.  It is forbidden to reveal another person’s secret faults or defects, unless there is proportionate good involved.  The fact that something is true does not, of itself, justify its disclosure.  Detraction is a sin against justice.  It robs one of what most people consider more important than riches, since a person has a strict right to his or her reputation whether it is deserved or not. (Etym. Latin detractio, a withdrawal)”[ii]
 
Give some examples of how we justify gossip and detract by saying “but it is true”.  Why should “true” things still not be talked about?  If it is “true” does it make it right to share?  There are many true things about all of our lives.  Just because it is true does not mean that we are proud of it and it does not mean that others need to know about it.  “True” things should not be talked about if they bring scandal, if they hurt a person’s reputation or character, if they do not bring about “good” in proportion to the harm or hurt they could cause.  Remember, just because it is true does not mean it needs to be shared. 
 
Is it ever right to reveal another person’s faults?  Yes, if the amount of harm that is done by doing so will be made up by the good that will occur because the fault was revealed.  For example if you friend is doing something wrong and you feel you should tell their parents, teacher, priest, etc.  Your friend will be embarrassed and maybe get punished but there may be great good that comes from it, in fact more good than the harm of embarrassment or punishment.  What are some examples of this?  If we are not sure whether we should say anything, what should we do?  First, we should talk to our neighbor personally and in a gentle way.  If he does not listen, we can make known his faults to his parents or superiors for the sake of punishment and reformation.  Once again it is our duty to help the person out of sin, to say nothing could help keep them in sin.  The danger we get into is when talk to people other than the person and the person’s parents and superiors.  For example before talking to the person we might tell ten people about the situation, even using the person’s name and ask, “What do you think I should do?”  This seeking advice could be harmful because we are telling others about the person and could be harming their reputation.
 
The steward in the gospel was justly accused on account of the goods he had wasted; but there are many who lose their good name and honor by false accusations and malicious talk!  Alas, what great wrongs do detracting tongues cause in this world!  How mean a vice is detraction, how seldom attention is paid to its evil, how rarely the injury is repaired![iii]
 
Activity - Toothpaste Contest
Have two or more contestants come to the front and give each a tube of toothpaste.  On the count of three the contestants should press out all of the toothpaste as fast as they can.  Check and see who the winner is and congratulate them.  THEN… tell them the second part of the game.  Whoever can get the toothpaste back in the tube the fastest is the winner… Count down and then see if they can do it.  They will not be able to, just as when a person commits the sin of detraction it is very difficult to restore what has been said.  The tube is the month and the paste is the harmful words that were said.
 
VIDEO – Pope Francis: if you speak ill of your brother, you kill him
Pope Francis spoke on the sins and grave dangers of what happens when we speak ill or gossip against our brothers and sisters.
 
What is the greatest thing a person owns?  What is the greatest thing you own?  If I stole money or any other material thing from a person, I would be punished and everyone would say I was wrong to do it.  After I was punished I would be asked to give back the money or material thing.  Our “good” reputation is far more important than money or material things, it is who we are as a person, but yet no one seems to care when one person steals another’s reputation or character.  Rarely do people get punished and unlike money and material goods it is hard to give back.
 
Have we every…

• told on someone with the intention of hurting that person
• told on someone when we did not have the duty to tell on that person (it was none of our business)
• accused a person of a sin which they did not commit
• accused someone of a sinful intention, when in fact we did not know what they intended at all
• denied or lessened a persons good qualities and good actions
• refused to give someone their due praise by remaining silent when we where asked about that person
• willingly listened to others talk bad about a person and destroy another’s reputation and made no effort to stop the conversation
• felt joy when detraction takes place and another’s reputation is hurt

Of the list above which do you personally struggle the most with?  If you feel comfortable, give examples of when you have fell into one of the traps / situations above.  What could be done to not act in the ways listed above?
 
Is it a sin to listen willingly to detraction?  Yes, for we thus give the detractors occasion and encouragement.  Therefore St. Bernard says: “Whether to detract is a greater sin than to listen to detraction, I will not decide.  The devil sits on the tongue of the detractor as he does on the ear of the listener.”  St. Paul expressly says: Calumniators shall not possess the kingdom of God (1 Cor. 6:10), and Solomon writes: My son, fear the Lord, and the king: and have nothing to do with detractors; for their destruction shall rise suddenly (Proverbs 24:22). 
 
What ways in our society does detraction take place?  Look at the tabloids, which make entertainment by detraction.  A tabloid might even be reporting what is “true” but do they have the right to spread the “truth” to everyone when the truth hurts a person’s reputation or image.  Many times detraction and be in the form of stereotypes or prejudices against particular groups of people.  A person can say, “Those people all do _______”.  It might be true but that does not mean that it needs to be said.    
 
Are there other ways we can participate in detraction other than just listening?  We no longer have to be listening, we can be reading.  With social networking sites like Facebook, pictures and posts can be published in which detract a person’s reputation.  If we read and look at these, they affect how we think about the person whom was harmed.    
 
What should we do if we have committed the sin of detraction?  We can do the following:

1. retract the calumny (false accusation) as soon as possible and repair the injury done to our neighbor in regards to his name.
2. we should detest our sin, regret it, and go to confession.
3. we should pray daily for the person that we have injured, this will heal the person and us
4. in the future we should guard against the sin of detraction, especially the list above.

 
Is detraction a great sin?  Why?  How does detraction hurt others, hurt God?  How can a person with a hurt, destroyed reputation go deeper into sin?  Yes, for it is directly opposed to love of our neighbor, therefore to the love of God, hence it is, as St. Ambrose says, hateful to God and man.  By it we rob our neighbor of a possession greater than riches (Prov. 22:1), and often he is plunged by it into want and misery, even into the greatest vices; St. Ambrose says: “Let us fly from the vice of detraction, for it is altogether a satanic abyss, full of deceit.”  Finally, detraction is a great sin, because it can seldom be recalled, and the injury done by it is very great, and often irreparable.
 
What should we do, how should we act, when another person commits the sin of detraction toward us?  Our first reaction is sometimes to talk bad about another and harm the reputation of the person that harmed yours.  There is also the tendency to get as many people on our side to get others anger at the person that hurt our reputation and to take vengeance on that person.  We think that we can pay back the person for the good they have taken from us.  This is not the way that Christ reacted when He was lied about and accused falsely.  He remained silent and knew that the truth would prevail in the end.  He was confident in who He was.  We can learn from this calmness and peace and be secure in the truth.  If we did not do what someone has accused us of then we know that we are clear of the charge.  If we did do what someone accused us of and we are harmed that they have told others, we can admit again our wrong, be humbled and continue on being a changed person and an example to others of conversion.
 
Story of Saint Dominic Savio
You can put up on a power point or a board the following:  a drunkard, a blasphemer, a friend of the devil, an inciter of sedition among the people, condemned and died a criminal.  Ask who they think this person could be.  It is Jesus and these were the detractions that were said about Him during the time He lived.  If you did not know Jesus and lived during His time, people might describe His as a drunkard, friend of sinners, etc.  We must imitate Jesus when detractions come our way.  Saint Dominic Savio is the patron Saint of the falsely accused.  This title was given to him due to the following incident. One time, two boys filled the school stove with snow and garbage during the cold winter months. When the teacher came back into the room, they falsely accused Dominic of doing the "dirty" deed. Although disciplined in front of the entire class, Dominic refused to tell on the two mischievous boys. When the truth was later revealed, Dominic was asked why he didn't confess to his innocence. He remarked that he was imitating Our Lord, Who remained silent during His persecutions and crucifixion. [iv]
 

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[i] Most of this section taking from The Church’s Year
[ii] Fr. Hardon; Catholic Dictionary
[iii] The Church’s Year
[iv] Catholic.org