“All of your will have your faith in me shaken”
Immediately after the Lord’s Supper, and receiving the very first communion, Jesus tells them that their faith in Him was going to be shaken like never before. This must have scared some of the Apostles. They had been with Jesus since the beginning of his ministry. They had seen Him do amazing, marvelous things and all the apostles, minus Judas, had extreme faith that Jesus was the Christ. However, Jesus tells them this ahead of time, and although they may have felt, “surely not I?” all of them would fall in more ways than one.
Where was Jesus quoting from when he said, “This night all of you will have your faith in me shaken”? Jesus was quoting loosely from Zechariah 13:7, “Strike the shepherd that the sheep may be dispersed”. The point of Him saying this is not lost on any of them. The apostles will be completely helpless when they lose Jesus. All of us have had times when we feel our very faith is shaken. There can be a circumstance or situation where we ask ourselves, “Where are you God?” Someone asks you a question that may have you doubting your whole faith. G.K. Chesterton wrote, “The Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and left untried”. Chesterton sees the heart of the disciples and every person who has attempted to follow Christ. Everyone has their faith shaken at one time or another, and it is in those times that we can leave Christ and find it too difficult to follow Him. Jesus never said it would be easy, but He never said we would be alone either. Those that have tired and found it difficult but kept the Christian faith alive within them are now saints in heaven.
After Jesus tells them that they would all have their faith shaken, St. Peter proclaims that he would not falter and would be with Jesus even to death. However, Jesus focuses on Peter specifically and shows him that he would fall the hardest [besides Judas who had already left]. We remember, that the rooster crowd three times, this was Jesus’s way, not of saying to St. Peter, “I told you so,” but rather gently humbling Saint Peter. Jesus was giving him a sign, which led to conversion; it was a moment of Grace. What signs have we been given, moments of Grace, which have led to conversation? Of course, we might not have a rooster to warn us, but maybe we could. Blessed Torello, who lived in Poppi, Italy, was given an amazing sign while playing soccer. Torello was a good boy, but after his father’s death he began to change his life for the bad. “He got involved with companions who drank. They hung around town all day instead of working. Torello liked his new friends and was trying hard to win their approval. Then while he was playing an outdoor sport one day, a rooster flew down from its roost. It landed on Torello’s arm and crowed three times, long and loud. Torello was speechless. He walked away and wouldn’t finish the game. He couldn’t help but think that what the rooster had done was no coincidence. He was being warned, just as St. Peter had once been warned, not to deny Jesus. Torello realized that the way he was living was leading him away from Jesus.” [1]
Why couldn’t the apostles keep watch with Jesus for one hour? The disciples were too weary to remain awake. In that time, men woke up and went to bed early. The only people who were really awake during that very late hour were Jesus, Judas, and the soldiers coming to arrest Jesus. [2]
Why can’t we keep watch for Christ? Can we watch even one hour today? An hour a week? An hour this month?
If the apostles were asleep then how did they know what happened to Jesus? While it does say the apostles, namely Peter, James and John since they were the closest to hear Jesus, were asleep when Jesus returned, it does not say they fell asleep immediately when He left their presence. Even with their half-awake/half asleep state, the prayers were heard, and seeing Jesus come to them in severe emotional distress like nothing before, the construction of this paragraph in the Gospels was built on these observations. [3]
Why did St. Peter deny Jesus three times? Simply put, he was a coward in those moments. But can we really blame him? He sees Jesus broken and bruised, and faced with his own mortality; Peter got scared and denied Jesus three times. How many times have we talked a big game but came up empty? How many times have we been afraid to step up and say we are Catholic? How many times have we been afraid to share the Gospel? How many times have we been afraid to voice the truth on certain issues or situations? Saint Peter is just like us in that he is human. We all get scared from time to time and we do not do what we ought to do or fall back from our word. However, Peter realizing his faults, does not let that be what defines him for the rest of his life. After the resurrection, Peter follows Jesus all the way to his death as he said he would.
Why did the all the apostles leave Jesus? For the same reason why Peter denied Jesus three times and ran also- they were scared. They were scared they would have to undergo what Jesus was going through. The only apostle to be with Jesus at the cross was Saint John who was only a teenager. As Jesus said to Peter, which applied to all of them, “the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” We too are weak. It is when we grasp this, and allow the spirit to work completely within us that we will have the strength to do the will of God. There are things in all of our lives that we will never be able to do, no matter how hard we work at them. However, there are things that you think you can never do, but by giving up selfishness and allowing God to do what He wants, when He wants, you will be able to do them. What things have we tried that we wanted so badly, but weren’t able to accomplish? Share a situation when you allowed God to take control and follow His will, and everything worked better.
Even Jesus had to let go of His human desires in order to obey completely His Father’s will; “My Father, if it is possible that this cup pass without my drinking it, your will be done!” [4] We must be willing to keep watch with Christ at all times and never be scared even at our darkest hour. If we turn inward and think of ourselves, we become cowards and run, but if we turn outward and connect ourselves to the cross, the nails, the suffering, and death to ourselves, we will turn into saints.
[1] Saints for Young Readers for Every Day; Volume One
[2] St. Jerome Biblical Commentary pg. 109
[3] St. Jerome Biblical Commentary pg. 109
[4] Matthew 26:42