“has already committed adultery with her in his heart”
This is lesson 1 of 2.
Everything changes with Jesus’s words in this Gospel. It is no longer enough to simply observe the Law through external acts. Adultery is the Old Testament was a physical, external act that could be quantified and judged. Jesus tells us that adultery is not just an external act but an interior act as well. “A man can commit such adultery “in the heart” even with his own wife, if he treats her only as an object for the satisfaction of drives.” [1] Following the Law is a matter of the heart, not just actions. This is why Jesus will say, “Blessed are the Pure of Heart for they will see God” [2] We can follow God exteriorly, solely through our actions and still not “see Him.” This is why we say in the Confiteor at Mass; “I have sinned through my own fault in my thoughts and in my words, in what I have done, and in what I have failed to do. [3] Following the Law is a matter of thoughts and consent, not just actions and habits. “Thoughts lead to Pleasure, Pleasure leads to Consent, Consent leads to Action, Action leads to Habit, Habit leads to Necessity.” [4]
In regards to the sin of lust, this quote by Saint Bernard gives us a template of what to do to prevent lust (before if happens), what to do in the midst of the temptation (as it is happening) and what to do if we have fallen into the sin of lust (after it has happened).
Before (Pleasure to Consent)
“Guard your eyes, since they are the windows through which sin enters the soul.” [5] Don’t watch or listen to impure things (movies, music, TV, internet, magazines, and pornography). Listen to Christian music and other music that is respectful of relationships and that does not objectify people. “The eyes, in particular are the inlets to criminal passion, and to this refer these words of Our Lord: If thine eye scandalize thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee (Matthew 5:29-30). The prophets, also, frequently speak to the same effect. I made a covenant with mine eyes, says Job that I would not so much as think upon a virgin. (Job 31:1). Finally, there are on record innumerable examples of the evils, which have their origin in the indulgence of the eyes. It was thus that David sinned (2 Kings 11:2), thus that the King of Sichem fell (Genesis 34:2), and thus also that the elders sinned who calumniated Susanna. (Daniel 13:8).” [6] Read each of the stories listed above and discuss how “the eye” and “the look” led to other things and the result of each of the sins. Don’t look at people as objects. Don’t take the second look, the double take. Remember that people in magazines, movies, TV, Internet are real people. Would you watch real people do the same thing? The people being objectified are someone’s wife/husband, daughter/son, mother/father, and sister/brother. Would you want your family members reduced to that of an object for the use and pleasure of another person?
Dress modestly, if you feel sexy you are more likely to act sexy or send the wrong intention to others. “Too much display in dress, which especially attracts the eye, is but too frequently an occasion of sin. Hence the admonition of Ecclesiastes: Turn away thy fact from a woman dressed up. (Ecclesiastes 9:8)” [7] Saint Paul says, “Women should adorn themselves with proper conduct, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hairstyles and gold ornaments, or pearls, or expensive clothes, but rather, as befits women who profess reverence for God, with good deeds” [8] These phrase applies to men as well. It is too easy for both men and woman to be so concerned and caught up with their appearance and attractiveness that they “have lost the only true ornament of their soul and body.” [9] We should be more concerned about the attractiveness of our soul than the attractiveness of our body.
Jason Evert explains the importance of modesty between men and women.
“Obscene language is a torch which light up the worst of passions of the young mind; and the Apostle has said, that evil communications corrupt good manners. (1 Cor. 15:33).” [10]
“Immodest and passionate songs and dances are most productive of this same effect and are, therefore, cautiously to be avoided. In the same class are to be numbered soft and obscene books which must be avoided no less than indecent pictures. All such things possess a fatal influence in exciting to unlawful attractions, and in inflaming the mind of youth.” [11] This language written almost 500 years ago has not changed all that has changed is that sexual temptation has increased a hundred fold. Instead of “soft and obscene books” there are movies, TV, advertisements, internet and pornography on an epidemic level. If you have impure, provocative pictures take them down and put up a picture of Our Lord or Our Lady.
Don’t drink or use drugs. If you are drunk or high you give up your “free will” and will not heed the advice of St. Peter who said, “Be sober and alert: the devil is prowling around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour, resist him in your faith.” [12] “In the next place, intemperance is carefully to be avoided. I fed them to the full, says the Prophet, and they committed adultery. (Jer. 5:7). And overloaded stomach begets impurity. This Our Lord intimates in these words: Take heed to yourselves, lest perhaps your hearts be overcharged with surfeiting and drunkenness. (Luke 21:34).” [13]
In the Midst of Temptation (Consent and Action)
We must remember one of our most basic prayers, the Our Father, “Lead us not into temptation.” In another prayer the Act of Contrition we promise to “Avoid the occasion of sin.” We must believe the prayers we pray and live them out. If we go near the edge of the pool, someone may push you in. If we do not avoid the near occasion of sin, we will fall into sin. When we are in temptation, God will provide a way out, [14] but we must take the opportunity to get out when God offers it to us. When we are in sexual temptation, we need to stop and say a prayer like, “Lord, save me or I will perish” or the St. Michael prayer. St. Alphonsus Liguori said, “To resist every temptation, it is sufficient to pronounce the names of Jesus and Mary, and if the temptation continues, let us continue to invoke Jesus and Mary and the Devil shall never be able to conquer us.” We may also call upon the Holy Spirit: “Holy Spirit, Fill me with a deep faith and trust in God’s promise” or “Please help me to say or do the right thing.” If we find our self in a situation that we did not expect, when need to find an excuse to get out, for example “I am sick” or “I forgot I had to be home early.” We also can remember the heroic example of the Saints who in the midst of great temptation survived without sinning. Say and believe in the motto both St. Dominic Savio and St. Maria Goretti lived by, “I would rather die than commit sin!” If we were to truly say this to someone who was tempting us they would either leave us alone or be enraged, which like Saint Maria Goretti could mean martyrdom for us.
Story of Saint Maria Goretti
Born in Corinaldo, Ancona, Italy, on October 16 1890; her farmworker father moved his family to Ferrier di Conca, near Anzio. Her father died of malaria and her mother had to struggle to feed her children. In 1902 an eighteen-year-old neighbor, Alexander, grabbed her from her steps and tried to rape her. When Maria said that she would rather die than submit, Alexander began stabbing her with a knife. It was later discovered that Alexander had been addicted to pornography and had lusted after Maria for quite some time.
As she lay in the hospital, she forgave Alexander before she died. Her death didn't end her forgiveness, however. Alexander was captured and sentenced to thirty years. He was unrepentant until he had a dream that he was in a garden. Maria was there and gave him flowers. The number of flowers Maria gave him in the dream corresponded exactly with the number of stab wounds Alexander had inflicted. When he awoke, he was a changed man, repenting of his crime and living a reformed life. When he was released, after 27 years, he went directly to Maria's mother to beg her forgiveness, which she gave. "If my daughter can forgive him, who am I to withhold forgiveness?" she said.
When Maria was declared a saint in 1950, Alexander was there in the St. Peter's crowd to celebrate her canonization. Pope Pius XII canonized her in 1950 for her purity as model for youth. She is called a martyr because she fought against Alexander's attempts at sexual assault. However, the most important aspect of her story is her forgiveness of her attacker -- her concern for her enemy extending even beyond death. Her feast day is July 6. St. Maria Goretti is the patroness of youth and for the victims of rape.
What if I have fallen (Action and Habit)? If our sin has become habitual, we must undo the sinful actions through the practice of virtue, until the virtue become a habit and the sin is no longer habitual. We must confess our impure thoughts and actions regularly; this will help us to eliminate them from our life. We can’t let Satan beat us down. The Sacraments were given to us for healing and strength, to stay away from the Sacraments is like a sick person staying away from the doctor. “The most efficacious means of subduing its [sexual sins] violence are frequent use of Confession and Communion, as also unceasing and devout prayer to God, accompanied by fasting and alms deeds. Chastity is a gift of God. (1 Cor. 7:7). To those who ask it aright He does not deny it; nor does He suffer us to be tempted beyond our strength. (1 Cor. 10:13).” [15] We must remember that Christ’s mercy is greater than our sin. We remember the Rule of Saint Benedict that says, “Never despair of God’s Mercy.” If we have fallen into sexual sin and especially if the sin is habitually, Christ says to us what he said to the woman caught in adultery, “Go and sin no more.” [16] If we believe that we cannot stop the sexual habit, then we believe that our sin is greater than God’s Grace. This is not true but it is also heresy, a falsehood and contrary to the doctrine of our Faith. We must never forget our Mother Mary, most pure and chaste. We can remember MP3. It is Mary who helps us to be pure, be perfect and to present our self to God, just as she is pure, perfect and presents herself to God.
[1] Saint John Paul II, General Audience of October 8, 1980 (sections from the full text); Section 43, Man and Woman He Created Them
[2] Matthew 5:8
[3] The Order of the Mass; Penitential Rite
[4] Saint Bernard
[5] Saint John Bosco; Paul Thigpen; A Dictionary of Quotes from the Saints; page 214
[6] Catechism of the Council of Trent; The Sixth Commandment; page 469
[7] Catechism of the Council of Trent; The Sixth Commandment; page 469
[8] 1 Timothy 2:9-10
[9] Saint Thomas Aquinas; On modesty of dress; Summa Theologica
[10] Catechism of the Council of Trent; The Sixth Commandment; page 469
[11] Catechism of the Council of Trent; The Sixth Commandment; page 470
[12] 1 Peter 5:8-9
[13] Catechism of the Council of Trent; The Sixth Commandment; page 468
[14] 1 Corinthians 10:13
[15] Catechism of the Council of Trent; The Sixth Commandment; page 470
[16] John 8:11