“becoming one flesh”
With any Sacrament it is good to look at the Rite itself. More than likely a couple at their wedding will be so caught up in the day and beauty of the Sacrament, that it is necessary to look at the actual rite ahead of time, to study the text given to us by Holy Mother Church.
Activity – Find the Four F’s
A good practice would be to read the “Marriage: Four F’s” lesson in this packet. Then, to read the Rites slowly making reference to any part of the Rite that mentions specifically or implied the “Four F’s”.
Introductory Address
All stand, including the bride and bridegroom, and the Priest addresses them in these or similar words: My dear friends At the discretion of the priest, other words which seem more suitable under the circumstances, such as friends, or dearly beloved or brethren may be used. This also applies to parallel instances in the liturgy., you have come together in this church so that the Lord may seal and strengthen your love in the presence of the Church's minister and this community. Christ abundantly blesses this love. He has already consecrated you in baptism and now he enriches and strengthens you by a special sacrament so that you may assume the duties of marriage in mutual and lasting fidelity. And so, in the presence of the Church, I ask you to state your intentions.
Statement of Intentions
The priest then questions them about their freedom of choice, faithfulness to each other, and the acceptance and upbringing of children: N. and N., have you come here freely and without reservation to give yourselves to each other in marriage?
Will you love and honor each other as man and wife for the rest of your lives?
The following question may be omitted if, for example, the couple is advanced in years. Will you accept children lovingly from God, and bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church?
Each answers the questions separately.
Consent
The priest invites the couple to declare their consent: Since it is your intention to enter into marriage, join your right hands, and declare your consent before God and his Church.
They join hands
A The bridegroom says: I, N., take you, N., to be my wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.
The bride says: I, N., take you, N., to be my husband. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.
B In the dioceses of the United States, the following form may also be used: I, N., take you, N., for my lawful wife (husband), to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.
[Added for further instruction on consent]
The consent consists in a “human act by which the partners mutually give themselves to each other”: “I take you to be my wife” – “I take you to be my husband.” This consent that binds the spouses to each other finds its fulfillment in the two “becoming one flesh.” [1]
The consent by which the spouses mutually give and receive one another is sealed by God himself. From their covenant arises “an institution, confirmed by the divine law,... even in the eyes of society.” The covenant between the spouses is integrated into God’s covenant with man: “Authentic married love is caught up into divine love.” [2]
Reception of Consent
Receiving their consent, the priest says: You have declared your consent before the Church. May the Lord in his goodness strengthen your consent and fill you both with his blessings.
What God has joined, men must not divide.
R. Amen.
Blessing and Exchange of Rings
Priest: A - May the Lord bless + these rings which you give to each other as the sign of your love and fidelity. R. Amen.
B - Lord, bless these rings which we bless + in your name. Grant that those who wear them may always have a deep faith in each other. May they do your will and always live together in peace, good will, and love. (We ask this) through Christ our Lord. R. Amen.
C - Lord, bless + and consecrate N. and N. in their love for each other. May these rings be a symbol of true faith in each other, and always remind them of their love. Through Christ our Lord. R. Amen.
The bridegroom places his wife's ring on her ring finger.
He may say: N., take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy spirit.
The bride places her husband's ring on his ring finger.
She may say: N., take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.
[1] Catechism of the Catholic Church - 1627
[2] Catechism of the Catholic Church - 1639