What is Modesty? “The forms taken by modesty vary from one culture to another. Everywhere, however, modesty exists as an intuition of the spiritual dignity proper to man. It is born with the awakening consciousness of being a subject. Teaching modesty to children and adolescents means awakening in them respect for the human person.” [1] Modesty, in a nutshell, is having a respect and dignity for one’s body and others’ bodies as well.
What does modesty do? Simply, “Modesty protects the mystery of persons and their love.” [2] Someone is in a loving relationship when the emphasis not on each other’s bodies or appearance. The emphasis is on their soul. Modesty is also decency. “It inspires one's choice of clothing. It keeps silence or reserve where there is evident risk of unhealthy curiosity. It is discreet.” [3]
Also, “Purity requires modesty, an integral part of temperance. Modesty protects the intimate center of the person. It means refusing to unveil what should remain hidden. It is ordered to chastity to whose sensitivity it bears witness. It guides how one looks at others and behaves toward them in conformity with the dignity of persons and their solidarity.” [4]
Does this mean we have to cover up all the time? As mentioned above, modesty can vary depending on cultures and other factors. The main purpose with any modesty is to have the focus be on the dignity and respect of the person, and not see them as an object. While an outfit may look attractive to someone, it could lead to lustfulness by others. If we cause another to sin, we participate in that sin. Many times our clothes, language, and actions (flirting) can lead others to sexual sin. Although we may not be aware of the sin, we are participating in the sin because, our clothes, language, and actions might have ignited the thought or desire to commit the sin.
This is a short clip from a former model Leah Darrow. She speaks about fashion, dress, and modesty. This clip goes well with the question above and below.
Why should we care about how our dress affects other people? While someone who dresses immodestly might think it shouldn’t bother them what other people think, in reality it really should. Our dress and appearance matter a lot. For example, if a woman dresses immodestly, she may think it is no big deal. To men, her dress portrays her as someone who is possibly promiscuous or would be more open to sexual things. This could be a completely wrong impression, but this is what the woman is showing. If a person goes outside dressed as a police officer everyone will treat that person as an officer, even though he or she is not. There is a sense of power and control in wearing whatever we want. If a man or woman can make someone desire them or even sin, then they have just exerted power over that person. This power in itself, to control the thoughts or desire of another, is prideful and thus a sin. Not only is this power, prideful and sinful, but this power can be addictive. If a woman dresses provocatively in order to seduce, manipulate, or simply get a few stares, she feels power and power is addictive, so she continues to be immodest in order to get the reaction she craves. Men are not excused, as they too can seduce, manipulate and draw people’s eyes by their clothing and actions.
Should Christian women wear bikinis? This is one of the biggest questions girls may ask. Jason Evert tells first of what these images of women who dress with little clothes on does to our brains, and the history of the bikini. Jason mentions the irony of a young girl having no qualms about wearing a bikini out in public but then screaming if anyone walks in her room when while she is wearing a bra and panties. There is also an irony in how a girl or woman may dress modestly, maybe even wearing a chapel veil to Mass, but then wearing a bikini at the pool, or revealing clothes at a party.
In the Jewish tradition, and this extends to the Catholic tradition, we cover what is holy. The tabernacle can have a “veil” and be covered. A woman can wear a chapel veil covering her head. In the Mass the chalice, purificator, the paten and the host, and the pall are all covered with a veil. The sacred vessels are covered because they are holy and only uncovered when it is the correct time to uncover them within the liturgy. In the Extraordinary Form of the Roman Rite, at a Solemn High Mass, the Sub deacon stands at the foot of the altar during the Eucharistic Prayer holding the paten under a humeral veil as a symbol of respect for the sacred vessel. The Catholic tradition is to cover what is holy. If we believe that our bodies are holy, we will cover them.
The sacred vessels are also consecrated (set aside) and may only be used for the sacred. We cannot imagine drinking lemonade out of a chalice. It would not be right and would be a sacrilege. Our Body is a Temple of the Holy Spirit. Our bodies are consecrated and set aside for the sacred. Not only do we keep our bodies veiled because of their holiness, but we aside our bodies to be used within the sacredness of marriage.
Are there different types of modesty? Yes. There is modesty of the mind and modesty of the body. For both men and women we need to practice both. For men, we need to practice modesty especially with our eyes, and our minds from wondering into lustful thoughts. For women, modesty of dress and appearance is vital. It is also important for women to have modesty of the mind to know that they are a gift from God, and they are special; that they do not need to lower their standards for anyone.
Why should we be modest? If we keep our standards and modesty high, then a person worthy of our high standards will pursue a holy relationship with us, not out of lust, but out of God’s love. In the beatitudes it says, “Blessed are the clean of heart, for they will see God.”[v] If we stay modest, we will be able to see God in every person. We will see them as a brother and sister in Christ to truly love and give them dignity and respect rather than look upon them with lust and sexual fantasies.
What should we do if we see someone dressed immodestly? It depends on each situation. For every situation, we should pray to keep ourselves pure, and pray for the person and their dignity. We can’t go through the whole world with blinders on and think people we see or meet are not attractive. And we shouldn’t because humanity is the pinnacle of God’s creation on earth! We are made in His image and likeness and praise God for making us so beautiful. However, when we see someone attractive we should not linger on in our stares. We should thank God for their beauty and ask God to protect them and us. If we know the person, we should take up the courage to go up to them and speak to them in a loving manner, asking them to reconsider their dress or appearance for the sake of their dignity. If we see someone dressed immodestly on the internet, magazine, on TV, or the movies, we should change the channel, get off the site, turn the page, or if needed, get up and leave. It is so important to have ones’ dignity fully intact than to be tempted, caught in scandal, or possibly sin.
Our culture today is bombarded with this issue of beauty and image. Sadly, our media has completely brain washed us into see fake images of what beauty is supposed to look like. When we see God’s beauty within a person, we can look past the surface. Remember, all surface beauty will fade away. We get old, wrinkly, and age dramatically. However, the beauty of the soul can only fade through sin, and through Sacramental Confession and penance, the beauty of the soul can be regained.
[1] CCC 2524
[2] CCC 2522
[3] CCC 2522
[4] CCC 2521
[5] Mt. 5:8