“love one another”
Jesus instructs his apostles to have charity. One of the key aspects to having charity is to be able to forgive others. It is part of the Our Father prayer, “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us…”
Do we have to forgive others? Yes. Christ has shown and tells us that we cannot just believe in Him, but to show charity to one another. When we show charity we show action. The Catechism says, “It is impossible to keep the Lord’s commandment by imitating the divine model from outside; there has to be a vital participation, coming from the depths of the heart, in the holiness and the mercy and the love of our God. Only the Spirit by whom we live can make ‘ours’ the same mind that was in Christ Jesus. Then the unity of forgiveness becomes possible and we find ourselves ‘forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave’ us.”[i]
Where does the forgiveness have to come from? If charity comes from the heart so too does forgiveness. It comes from the heart of every Christian and the heart of the Church. “Thus the Lord’s words on forgiveness, the love that loves to the end, become a living reality. The parable of the merciless servant, which crowns the Lord’s teaching on ecclesial communion, ends with these words: ‘So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.’ It is there, in fact, ‘in the depths of the heart,’ that everything is bound and loosed. It is not in our power not to feel or to forget an offense; but the heart that offers itself to the Holy Spirit turns injury into compassion and purifies the memory in transforming the hurt into intercession.”[ii]
What are the benefits to forgiveness? First, According to a study conducted at the Medical College of Georgia, holding grudges is significantly associated with a history of heart attacks, high blood pressure, arthritis, back problems, headaches, chronic pain, and stomach ulcers. Second, if we forgive someone, we are letting go within us any hatred we have against them. Even if they are still our enemy, they have no control over our heart and soul. There is a saying, “Holding onto a grudge is letting someone live rent-free in your head.” When we allow grudges and hatred live within us Satan will use that to make it grow and fester. Do not give Satan the chance to work. Third, by forgiving other in charity we are able to reach the heights in our prayer life. “Christian prayer extends to the forgiveness of enemies, transfiguring the disciple by configuring him to his Master. Forgiveness is a high-point of Christian prayer; only heart attuned to God’s compassion can receive the gift of prayer. Forgiveness also bears witness that, in our world, love is stronger than sin. The martyrs of yesterday and today bear this witness to Jesus. Forgiveness is the fundamental condition of the reconciliation of the children of God with their Father and of men with one another.”[iii]
How much are we suppose to forgive? Christ asked us to love one another as Christ loves us. Christ loves us eternally, fully, and unconditionally. This is the level we must work to loving one another. “There is no limit or measure to this essentially divine forgiveness, whether one speaks of ‘sins’ as in Luke (11:4), or ‘debts’ as in Matthew (6:12). We are always debtors: ‘Owe no one anything, except to love one another.’ The communion of the Holy Trinity is the source and criterion of truth in every relationship. It is lived out in prayer above all in the Eucharist.”[iv]